These Are the Ones Who Knock…

Meet  Walter White.  WWhite1

©AMC

And Walter White.      Photo/Billings Gazette

Photo/Billings Gazette

And Walter White.        Photo/Tuscaloosa County Sheriff's Office

Photo/Tuscaloosa County Sheriff’s Office

In what looks like a ridiculous game of the old To Tell the Truth, all three of these pictures depict a man named Walter White – all involved in the meth trade – yet only one of them is a fictional character!

Walter White #1 is our boy from AMC’s excellent show Breaking Bad.  He was the chemistry teacher with cancer who went into meth cooking and things went downhill from there.  If there is any doubt, this Walter White is the fictional character and he died in the series finale.

Walter White #2 is the newest addition to the club as he was just convicted of dealing meth out of his Montana home and sentenced for 12 years.  But that’s dealing, not cooking, so Walter #2 is a bit of a poser.  I wonder if Walter White is his real name – maybe it’s really Heisenberg!  Say his name!  😛

But contestant number 3 is the real deal.  This Walter White hails from Bessemer, Alabama, and cooked high-grade meth just like in the TV show, except it wasn’t blue.  Walter #3 was featured in a Vice.com exposé detailing his operation and subsequent downfall (you knew there would be a downfall, didn’t you?).  Check out the video, it is completely worth it: http://www.vice.com/Fringes/the-real-walter-white.

So there you have it: the Walter Whites of the Meth World.  As a further word of caution to all you other Walters out there: knock it off and stay away from the meth – we already have Brian Cranston and that’s enough!

Merry Friggin’ Holidays!

 Let me tell you this now: there is no War on Christmas.  There may be strong annoyance at the pettiness of those who call themselves “Christians” over empty salutations, but no one is trying to do away with Christmas.  This harangue is just red meat thrown out there by the false prophets and the brain-addled who cling to their every lie so that they can feel better about themselves – a common thread I see among so many evangelical sorts.

For those of us who do call ourselves “Christian” and observe the holiday, a projection of genuine goodwill is appreciated and all that is necessary.  But for some, that just isn’t good enough and I blame America for that.  That’s right, American engendering of individualism has given rise to an overabundance of self-importance: it’s not enough that a cashier gives us a pleasant “Happy Holidays!”, no, it has to be “Merry Christmas” because “Merry Christmas” is what we want, isn’t it?!  It has to be our way, doesn’t it?  And if we don’t get exactly what we want, exactly the way we want it, then they are trying to take Christ out of Christmas!  It really doesn’t get much more childish than that and every person who ever raised their voice to give voice to such an insipid complaint should be ashamed.  I would even venture that they will have to answer for such unseemly behavior, but that’s not my department.

There is plenty of overreach by those who want to inject their religion into every aspect of everyone else’s  life and I think those who grouse about those who don’t share their beliefs are guilty of taking things for granted.  Especially in this country, the norm is for people from all walks of life to have to plan their lives around the holiday season whether they participate or not.  Yet, religion is not a majority-rules undertaking; it is a personal statement that is best realized through conduct rather than imposition.  Those who quarrel over a fictitious War on Christmas are doing more harm than good but probably have no clue how counter-productive their nonsense really is.

But this doesn’t get the non-believers off the hook, either – those not-so-clever folk who refer to Christians as “Xtians” and think the Flying Spaghetti Monster is funny (it’s not and never will be).  If someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, they aren’t asking you for your inept manifesto on why Christmas is a borrowed pagan holiday or any of the other atheistic claptrap.  They are celebrating a festive season that means something to them that makes them joyous and they are wishing that joy for you as well.  It won’t kill you to sincerely wish them well in kind.  The world would be a much better place if people got over themselves and practiced this.

Let’s face it, the salutations at the checkout line are just as empty as the skulls of those who complain about them.  This is a time of year to reflect on how we should be grateful for what we have and hope for times to come.  Why wouldn’t we want to share that sentiment and have a happy holiday season?