This Is Why I Need To Write For J. Peterman

I once found myself in the uncharted jungles of Indonesia surrounded by members of the Papui Gakau tribe. They were known as savages and cannibals, but I knew they had a taste for a certain carbonated beverage. When they found I had in my possession a case of the sugary elixir, we became fast friends and they supplied me with the wonderful sunbonnets they wove from the palm leaves above our very heads and now made available to you. And for that, I say, “Thank you, Dr. Pepper.”

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